Once to Speak of His Brightness

I find myself going back again and again to this idea of duality, and how one can feel despair over the state of the world, regret over choices they’ve made, disappointment over unmet expectations, etc., and yet still experience moments of profound joy, gratitude, delight simultaneously. A person can do a horrible thing and still be loveable. A perpetrator can also be a victim. People are burdened with conflicting desires all day long. The desire to be cared for versus the desire to be free, for instance. Or the desire to be respected versus the desire to be liked.

I’ve long been preoccupied with the Noah’s Ark story. About God commanding the deluge, and what happens to Noah and his family after the flood. I think it’s an incredible narrative with incredible imagery. But it’s also deeply unsettling. There’s so much going on in this part of Genesis that is so confusing, even unfathomable at times, particularly the moments in which God seems to contradict Himself. I wonder if perhaps coming to terms with the irreconcilably dual nature of selfhood and desire is necessary for all acts of creation.