top of page

Loading Video . . .

It’s been very challenging working on creating individualized contemplations to send over the last couple of months. One of the major reasons is that many of the challenges people have shared with me so far are also challenges that I find myself facing in some way.

Find the complete progression of the work linked below.

Proverbs 8:17-21

Artist in Residence 2016: Lauren Ferebee Part 3

By 

Lauren Ferebee

Credits: 

Curated by: 

Spark+Echo Arts, Artist in Residence 2016

2016

Image by Giorgio Trovato

Primary Scripture

I love those who love me.
Those who seek me diligently will find me.
With me are riches, honor,
enduring wealth, and prosperity.
My fruit is better than gold, yes, than fine gold;
my yield than choice silver.
I walk in the way of righteousness,
in the middle of the paths of justice;
that I may give wealth to those who love me.
I fill their treasuries.

Proverbs 8:17-21

September 19, 2016


In Proverbs 8, Wisdom says:


Does not wisdom call out?

Does not understanding raise her voice?

At the highest point along the way,

where the paths meet, she takes her stand;

beside the gate leading into the city,

at the entrance, she cries aloud:

“To you, O people, I call out;

I raise my voice to all mankind.

You who are simple, gain prudence;

you who are foolish, set your hearts on it. (vv. 1-5)



It’s been very challenging working on creating individualized contemplations to send over the last couple of months. One of the major reasons is that many of the challenges people have shared with me so far are also challenges that I find myself facing in some way.


A sampling:


– How do I trust myself?

– How do I cope with the dust settling?

– How do I share my gifts confidently and from a place of stability, compassion, genuineness?

– How do I find more patience in my daily life?

– How do I balance a creative life and a normal life?


In creating objects for these concerns, I am forced to look at each question in a new way, thinking what do I know about this? and also, how do I move beyond my fear that I don’t, and potentially will never know the answers to these questions?


Because fear is just a trick, right? Fear keeps us holding on to false answers that don’t serve us. If I have learned one thing through artistic practice this year, it is that contemplation is not, in fact, about answers. As Rilke reminds us in the ever-relevant Letters to a Young Poet, our job is never to hold fast to answers, but to seek instead for questions that we can love.



I’ll tell you, it’s been twelve years since I first picked up Letters, and loving questions is still a stretch for me. As part of the discipline of my project this year, I have seriously re-committed to a daily ritual of journaling and reading books on creative practice, and lately I’ve been working my way through Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit. One of the things she speaks about is her own sense of rigidity – that questions ought to be answered, that the world is good or bad, right or wrong – and I deeply identify with that.


In engaging with these unanswerable questions, I have been forced to confront my own rigidity. It is uncomfortable for me to realize that sometimes I think I am living an answer (This is right for me.) when I have really been living a question (Is this right for me?).


It is even more difficult for me to settle into the tension of living a question, or many questions, because that tension keeps the door open to other answers – to the possibility that the answer might change. Living this way requires tremendous energy, and yet it also keeps the possibility of change alive within me.


One of my favorite podcasts is Krista Tippett’s, On Being. They recently replayed one of my favorite episodes with The Alchemist author, Paulo Coelho. Talking about his 34 years with his wife, he speaks of their marriage going through “many moments of destruction…but not destruction in a bad way. For example, just like you build a house, and then you say this house does not fit me anymore. So let’s reorganize, but let’s continue to live here. We don’t need to move…let’s reconstruct this house.”


To me, this represents a very deep wisdom: being able to move through moments when I realize that what I have held onto in my life no longer serves me. And those are the moments when only questions can serve as the bridge between my current life and what’s next. A brave and terrifying moment, when either I move forward or stay put.


“To the discerning all of them are right;

they are upright to those who have found knowledge.


‘Choose my instruction instead of silver,

knowledge rather than choice gold,


for wisdom is more precious than rubies,

and nothing you desire can compare with her.”


…which leads me to the thought that I have been pushing around these last few months as I work at my project: What if wisdom is just a series of ever-deepening circles of questions?


I’ll leave you with a few of the short pieces I have been composing for the book of hours I am creating. I also want to say thank you to those who have bravely shared their concerns with me and encourage anyone else who would like to receive a contemplative object to reach out to me at laurenbeth.ferebee(a)gmail.com.


January/Sunday/6am

Sunday Breakfast

The first day of new creation

The ordinary world

6am

Invocation

Americans depart but never arrive.

We always believe there is something waiting just over our shoulders.

If I arrived, what would I do next?

Leave. Leave. Leave.

I can’t leave.

I’m barely awake.

Wake up.


March/Monday/9pm

you’re an easy target and you know it, you’ve been told, so easy. So many versions of “are you sure” singing in your blood that describing reality makes you sick you can’t even say if your feet are on the ground.


So when someone asks you if you are OK, you can’t say with any certainty if you are falling down or taking off.


July/Weds/Noon

I don’t know how to carry you across this river of despair.

I love bridges but I am not one.

Could it be in these hot days of crossing over,

These ambiguous July afternoons

We might simply lose despair, like we lose ourselves, the boundaries of our skins,

To this gathering heat?

Will sadness evaporate?

Will hate?


October/Sat/9am

In the waning days of American prosperity, this is what we witness:


The bones rising.

You who think you know what violence is:


Has anyone ever built an overpass on your body?

Let the silence of your death wash down a river?


I know more than a few people haunted by the ghosts of thousands.


The land has counted every day, every death.

You cannot keep secrets from the trees.


Spark Notes

The Artist's Reflection

Lauren Ferebee is a Texan native and a multidisciplinary artist whose primary mediums are playwriting and installation/video art.


Most recently, her play The Reckless Season was selected for Stage West’s Southwest Playwriting Competition Festival of New Works, and her alternative screwball comedy Sexual Geography was a finalist for the Reva Shiner Comedy Award at the Bloomington Playwrights’ Project. In 2014, she was a juried fellow at Saltonstall Arts Colony, a semifinalist for the Shakespeare’s Sister fellowship and the first theatre-artist-in-residence at HUB-BUB in Spartanburg, South Carolina, where in addition to writing, she did community-based theatre work.


Her most recent work includes Sexual Geography (developed at HUB-BUB), The Reckless Season (The Spartanburg Little Theatre/HUB-BUB), Somewhere Safer (FringeNYC 2013, Inkwell finalist), and Blood Quantum (At Hand Theatre & WET Productions). Three of her short plays, jericho, jericho, Bob Baker’s End of the World and The Pirate King are published online at indietheaternow.com, where Somewhere Safer is also published as part of the 2013 Fringe Collection.


She is a member of playwriting collective Lather, Rinse, Repeat, and studied playwriting, screenwriting and television writing at Primary Stages/ESPA. Lauren also has regional and NYC credits as an actress on stage and in film, and from 2007-2010 was co-artistic director of a site-specific classical theatre company, Rebellious Subjects Theatre. She especially enjoys acting in and teaching Shakespeare and working on new plays. She holds a BFA in drama from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts.


Lauren Ferebee

About the Artist

Artist in Residence 2016: Lauren Ferebee Part 1

Artist in Residence 2016: Lauren Ferebee Part 2

while in a foreign land

Wonders of the Deep

Artist in Residence 2016: Lauren Ferebee

Lauren Ferebee

Other Works By