Alfred, Gwen, and Steve

Some of my most formative experiences involved hearing things that I wasn’t supposed to hear. I’ve overheard things that were painful to hear. I’ve overheard things that helped me understand people more deeply.

This passage struck me because it admonishes eavesdropping, not because of the intrusion on other’s privacy, but because the honest things that people say about you when they think you’re not listening might be painful to hear.

It also touches on power dynamics, and implies that people who are lower in status will always say bad things about people with higher status behind their backs. That may be true. Power is complicated.

I wanted to explore the act of purposefully eavesdropping, especially when you know that you will hear things that hurt. Things that are personal. There’s a part of me that wishes I could hear everything that people say about me when I’m not around, and I know that desire is dangerous.